Daft Stuff: 4
A quick training run for the real thing (without the quizmaster’s ‘comedy’ routine)
1 What happened to Theresa Brasier on July 13 2016?
2 Since Mount Everest was ‘conquered’ in 1953, by sherpa Tenzing Norgay and Edmund Hillary, how many times has it been climbed (to May 2022) a) 1,838, b) 10,657, c) 24,222?
3 And in the same period, how many people have died in the attempt a) 61, b) 274, c) 311?
4 What is the basic law of magnetism?
5 On a musical score, how is the instruction ‘very loud’ indicated?
6 Who was the only Englishman to become Pope?
7 In Norse mythology, what is the name of Thor’s hammer?
8 Where in Britain was Pontius Pilate said to be born, with a yew tree marking his birthplace?
9 What is the collective name for a group of ducks?
10 Whose children were called Bernie and Gash?
1 She became prime minister (by then she was Theresa May). 2 b) 10,657. 3 c) 311. 4 Like poles repel, unlike poles attract. 5 ff or fff (fortissimo). 6 Nicholas Breakspear (as Pope Adrian IV, 1154-59). 7 Mjollnir. 8 Fortingall in Perthshire. The yew that grows there is said by the Guinness Book of Records to be the oldest tree in Britain. 9 A paddling. 10 Rab C Nesbit’s.
AULD LANG SIGN
We’ve got a few for you this month – the notices that make us laugh and are worth sharing.
A There’s no mistaking what the owner of this van spotted near Consett, County Durham, does for a living. We’d use him if we needed a plasterer if only for his direct approach.
B You might have to digest this one a little bit. It’s a view from inside Gilbert & Smith’s pub in Gateshead, looking out onto a bus stop with conveniently placed transport of delight and fortuitously-positioned passer-by. Perhaps the lady upstairs is wishing she could swap seats.
C One of those classics where no thought has gone into the message – they could have just started a three-hour lunch break with no hint of any return to the shop (Crawcrook, Tyne & Wear). Oh, the Friday three-hour lunch of blessed memory.
D Decline the offer of a lift in this Land Rover, unless you want to appear silly. Accept if you’re a bit of a daredevil and willing to bare your top half to give passers-by the full effect. Either way, it’s an eye-catcher (captured in Hexham, Northumberland).
BEER AND BIKES
Comfort meets style in this 1980s vintage Schwinn Cruiser Classic, usually encountered around beaches in Malibu and Miami and ridden by people called Brad and Shirleen. Just as romantic, though, is the Tudor Rose at Dunston, Gateshead, a welcome stop-off for the Geordie equivalents, Gary and Tracy on Coast To Coast Route 14. Look at those white-walled tyres, the aerodynamic fairing, the fat saddle and the slick chain guard – sheer class on two wheels. Want.
“We began with breakfast on the train. Breakfast did not involve food but was instead the term, the code, we used for Vodka and Orange – the Screwdriver that got everything working first thing in the morning.”
KEITH FLOYD, from his autobiography Stirred But Not Shaken.
MAN WALKS INTO A BAR…
… and says to the barman: “I see from your Facebook page you have a yoga class on upstairs.” The barman says: “Yes sir, it’s quite an advanced session, very energetic, you have to be pretty supple to get the most out of it.”
“That’s fine,” says the man, “I’m used to that sort of thing.” The barman prods the man’s biceps and says: “Excellent, how flexible are you?”
“Well, says the man, “I can’t do Tuesdays.”
CALLED TO THE BAR
Where were you on May 28 2014 at 12.17? If you were in The Hotspur in Newcastle on that day eight years ago you might have had the pleasure of seeing this beautiful young lady at the bar.
It was the run-up to June 2014’s FIFA World Cup and Tainá Vieira, from Belo Horizonte in Brazil, was being interviewed by the late Cheers North East magazine about the chances of her country winning the trophy for the sixth time.
Tainá was studying chemical engineering at Newcastle University and is a big football fan. She was one of some 30 Brazilian students studying the same degree which would lead to an almost guaranteed job – there’s a high demand for chemical engineers in Brazil – and she returned home the following September to complete the final two years of her course.
Surprisingly, she felt her home side wouldn’t be celebrating come the final on July 13 2014.
“I don’t think Brazil will win the World Cup,” she said. “I think it’ll be between Italy and Spain.”
As it turned out, neither of her predictions came to light – or Brazil’s for that matter, being beaten by The Netherlands 3-0 for the unwanted third spot – as Germany overcame Argentina 1-0 in the final.
Tainá Vieira was so pleased to be photographed for the article she even painted her fingernails in Brazil’s colours – including tiny silver stars.
(If you’re reading this in Belo Horizonte, Tainá, The Hotspur says “Olá”.)
That's all for now pub pickers. Feel free to read this issue again – and tell your friends. See you in July, same place. meet-and-drink.co.uk
And… mine’s one of those pinty things on the left. (AG)